Safe Passage
by WanhedaKomSkaikru
Summary: After a breakup, Clarke decides she needs a vacation far far away, where she happens to meet a certain brunette. And so the adventure begins... Clexa AU.
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Reader,_

 _thanks for choosing my Fanfic! Leave me a review if you want, I'd be happy to hear your opinions :)_

 _Hope you enjoy it :)_

"What the fuck is he thinking?" Clarke huffed and plopped down on the couch. "I mean it's not like he accidentally shoved his d–"

"Clarke! God, you don't need to be _that_ graphic!" Raven grimaced.

"–slept with her."

"Look babe I really don't like to say it but–"

"Yes you do."

"Yes I do. But we told you to break up with him after the first time that shit happened–"

"And after the second time." Octavia interrupted Raven. "And the–"

"I got it, O." Clarke rolled her eyes.

Raven nodded in agreement. "And you still went back to him, I mean c'mon Clarke, he's an asshole. He's been cheating on you since you two got together, basically."

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me." Clarke sighed and opened her second beer.

"What Raven is trying to say is that you should definitely call it quits with him now. He's hurt you enough and if you ask me, Murphy was–"

"Ugh don't play the Murphy card, O. I wasn't in love with him anyway."

"Yeahh well but he was in love with you and he still is and he's hot and he's never hurt you and you– oookay I got it. No more Murphy," Octavia raised her hands in defense when Clarke glared at her, but continued, "but you should definitely get some distraction."

"I'm not gonna hop into bed with someone an hour after I caught my boyfriend with a super hot–" the brunettes both raised an eyebrow, " _bitch_! I was gonna say bitch!"

Raven sighed and shifted into a more upright position. "Look Clarke, we don't mean _that_ kind of distraction. What about some days off?"

Clarke weakly shook her head. "I don't have time for a vacation."

"Yes you actually do. And you could use one." Raven stated.

"I guess I could."

 _A few days later..._

It was 6:05pm and Clarke was nervously playing with the flight ticket, folding and unfolding it until she realized that she would probably rip it if she touched it again so she pulled out her phone instead to check the time. Twelve minutes left until boarding. She sighed and went through some texts her mom had sent her because she was more than worried about her daughter, but she was always worried, which was just another reason why Clarke hadn't told her about her holiday destination. She sighed again. There were several messages from Finn, too. Apparently he had a lot to say but she didn't really bother to read any of it. She sent a quick text to Raven and Octavia, reassuring them that she was okay, pocketed her phone again and joined the passengers waiting to get on the plane.

The hours went by slowly but Clarke fortunately found it relatively easy to fall asleep and she woke up just in time when the plane had already started its final descent.

The city looked beautiful from above and, well, gigantic. She could easily detect the Blue Mosque and some other buildings she had read so much about when she was younger. She'd never been to Istanbul before but she already loved it. She cursed herself for not having thought of staying there for a day or two, but she had a five hours stop there, so she could at least see some small bits of the city.

She somehow managed to get a cabdriver who offered her a two hours sightseeing tour, but the tour was already over at their first stop, which was _Kapalıçarşı_ , the Grand Bazaar. Clarke was so stunned that she pulled out her sketchbook and quickly doodled anything her eye could catch and when she returned to the cab, she realized that her stop was pretty much over already.

The second flight took a bit more than three hours and when she finally arrived at her hotel, it was almost 9:30pm. After a quick shower, she facetimed her friends.

" _Clarkeyy! What's it like? Oh my God that's so exciting!"_ Raven and Octavia jabbered excitedly. _"Are there any hot guys? How was Greece? No wait, that's Turkey. How was Turkey?"_

" _Istanbul was amazing, seriously! I mean I only like saw it from above but I was at the Grand Bazaar and guys, it's... wow! I really gotta go there ag–"_

" _Clarke, blah blah. Hot guys?"_ Octavia interrupted her.

" _Ugh, O, it's not all about guys."_ Clarke sighed.

" _Preach it, girl!"_ Raven laughed and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek.

" _Okay Rae, I think you made your point clear,"_ Octavia laughed, " _Clarke, you can't tell me you're surrounded by hot exotic men and you didn't check them out!"_

" _I didn't. And I'm actually really tired, so I'll hit the pillows."_

" _It's like 3pm."_

" _It's like 10pm here. Time difference, O. Seven hours."_

" _Oh wow, okay. So what's your plan for tomorrow?"_

Clarke paused for a moment. _"I actually have no idea. Just, you know… go see the city I guess? But for that, I need energy and that, I get from sleeping, so that's what I'm gonna do now. Have a nice day, night, whatever. Bye guys, love you!"_ Her friends waved back and Clarke ended the call.

She snuggled into her blanket and for the umpteenth time today, she sighed. She never just headed off to somewhere without a plan. Especially not to a different continent. Especially not alone. But here she was, in Jordan's capital, all by herself, for eight days, without a single idea of where to go and what to do. She laughed and closed her eyes, focusing on the foreign sounds that came through the open window.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke woke up to the muezzin and checked the time, 5:32am. She felt quite awake despite the jetlag, so she got up, took a shower and got ready for the day. Breakfast was served at eight, so she still had two hours left and decided to go for a walk.

The city was still asleep but Clarke enjoyed it. There were so many impressions, and it amazed her how different Amman was from any other city she had seen before. She had always been interested in Arabic countries and cultures but she'd never gotten the opportunity to actually go there.

She skipped breakfast at the hotel and opted for a snack somewhere in the city.

" _Things to do in Amman_ ," she typed and hit enter. Google proposed several museums and mosques, as well as the Roman Theater.

She was sitting in an internet café, sipping her coffee, and she had no idea how to get to any of the attractions, but since the walk, as Google Maps said, was only 40 minutes, she sketched the route and started out for the amphitheater.

"That thing is huge!" She mumbled to herself when she arrived. She was absolutely stunned by the sight. The seating area had three tiers which made the auditorium look gigantic and Clarke was sure that standing on top of it, the view would be breathtaking, so she started to climb the stairs and instantly cursed herself because the way up was far more exhausting than she had expected.

It was worth it though and she spent an hour sketching all the impressions.

After a quick snack, she made her way to the Amman Citadel, a site in the city center with several buildings and ruins on it. She strolled around and was just about to enter the archeological museum when her phone went off.

" _Raven, hey!"_

" _Clarkeyy! Morning! Or whatever time it is there! Where you at?"_

" _Standing right at the Amman Citadel, it's like a hill with ruins on it, a temple and the Hand of Hercules and–"_

" _The actual hand?"_

" _Yeah right Raven, Hercules' actual hand."_ She laughed. " _And well there's like a church and a mosque here, too. Super... normal for oriental countries."_

" _Well I want proof! Make sure you take photos, okay? Gotta get to work now but have an amazing day as I'm sure you will! Love ya!"_

" _Love you too, Rae, and say Hi to O! Bye!"_ She laughed and pocketed her phone.

"Actually, that's no mosque. It's a palace." Clarke wheeled around and was caught off guard by the deep green eyes and the small smirk of a stunning brunette woman who was leaning against a rock, arms crossed.

"I– what?"

"The building there, that's not a mosque. It's the Umayyad Palace. It was built in the 8th century, an earthquake destroyed most of it though shortly after. It's beautiful nonetheless."

"Uh." Clarke was rather speechless, maybe because of the woman's knowledge, maybe because of her beauty. Probably because of both. The woman laughed and pushed herself up from the rock.

"I'm Lexa."

"That's beautiful!" Clarke blurted out and Lexa raised an eyebrow. "I mean the palace! It's beautiful! God, sorry, I'm just– nice to meet you, Lexa." _Fuck!_ she cursed herself. This was absolutely embarrassing.

"It's nice to meet you too, ..." Lexa drawled out, waiting for Clarke to finish the sentence.

"Clarke"

"Clarke." The way her name rolled off Lexa's tongue and the way she clicked the _k_ made Clarke's heart skip a beat. It was beautiful. She laughed, blushing hard because apparently, she was planning to keep making a fool of herself, and Lexa curiously narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing, it's just... nothing."

"Alright." The brunette nodded and Clarke was thankful that the woman had decided to drop the topic. "How come you're strolling around here though, all by yourself?" Lexa took a step towards Clarke.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I have my reasons."

"So do I."

Lexa laughed. "Okay, I didn't mean to bother you. I really hope you enjoy the city, it's beautiful. Have a nice day, Clarke!" She winked and turned around and before Clarke realized what had just happened, Lexa was gone.

Clarke got lost twice on her way back to the hotel but she arrived just in time for dinner. She quickly dressed up a bit and made her way to the dining room.

She checked her phone and didn't look up when the elevator doors opened, and she bumped right into someone when she stepped out.

"Oh God I'm so sorry, I didn't see– Lexa! Oh my God!" Clarke rambled and blushed. She hadn't been able to get Lexa off her mind the entire way back to the hotel and now she was standing right in front of her and the brunette's beauty made her forget how to form a useful thought, let alone sentence.

"Oh my God, Clarke!" Lexa mimicked her and laughed. Clarke's cheeks were now a deep shade of red, again, which didn't go unnoticed by the brunette, "Are you okay?" She asked concerned with a soft voice.

"Yeah I–" Clarke's voice cracked and she cleared her throat, "I was just on my way to, you know, have dinner and stuff, and I'm, I mean– what are you doing here?!"

"The same, I guess. Although I wasn't headed for the dining room. There's a little restaurant a few streets away and it's–"

"Please tell me they serve something else than weird food which hotels think is internationally favored."

Lexa laughed, "They do. Want to give it a try?"

They walked in silence until they entered the restaurant and found a small table. It was a cozy atmosphere; people were chatting, some had a shisha next to them, and there was arabic music coming from one corner where two musicians were sat.

Clarke couldn't stop looking around and take in all the impressions and small details.

Lexa had gotten a shisha herself after dinner. "You seem to be enjoying it. Did you like the food?" She asked and leaned back in her chair, taking another drag from the water pipe.

"Very much so!"

"Glad to hear that." was all Lexa replied and it left Clarke unsure about whether to say something else about the food, but something about the brunette told her that she didn't have to jabber too much. She felt like she could say anything but also stay silent and that both would be absolutely okay. She enjoyed it. And although she didn't feel like talking, she was curious about Lexa.

"So what are you actually doing here? I mean you knew quite a lot about this mos– palace. Are you a tourist guide or something?"

"No, I'm actually part of an archeological project. I joined one at the Citadel during my studies and Jordan has always been my favorite country to work in, except from Egypt maybe, so I applied for another project and, well, here I am."

"Wow..."

Lexa let out a small laugh and took another drag.

Clarke smiled and took another moment to look around, before her eyes met Lexa's again. "I really get why you like it here so much, I mean it's amazing!"

"Have you seen Wadi Rum or Petra yet?"

"No...?"

"Then you know nothing." Lexa winked and got up to pick up the bill.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wait... I don't think this is a good idea," Clarke breathed out before another moan escaped her, "I mean I just broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago and we really shouldn't–" Clarke tried but Lexa silenced her with another kiss which, just like the ones before, got quite steamy immediately. Clarke pulled away again. "Maybe," she unbuttoned Lexa's jeans, "we could just talk", and pulled it off, "or something?"

In one swift move, Lexa changed their positions and was now on top of Clarke, pinning the blonde's hands on either side of her head, "Yes, maybe we should do that." Lexa agreed and then lowered her body, leaving a trail of wet kisses on Clarke's stomach on her way down, until she reached her destination. When she looked up, Clarke's mouth went dry at the sight of dark green eyes. Just when Lexa lowered her head, Clarke's eyes shot open. _What the actual fuck?_

She sighed and checked her watch, 6:49am. _Clarke you can't be serious. Did you just have a... oh God._ She blushed and got up. She'd actually had a _dream_ about Lexa and she was more than confused. Of course, the brunette was beautiful, with her sharp jawline, those deep eyes and plump soft lips, well, at least Clarke imagined them to be soft, and her beautiful long hair. And those hands... but having this kind of a dream about her seemed far too inappropriate.

Clarke got ready for the day, left for breakfast and felt slight disappointment kick in when she realized that Lexa was nowhere to be seen in the dining room.

She quickly sent a text to Raven and Octavia and left the hotel for another day of strolling around all alone in a city with a population of more than one million people, with no idea where to go or what to do. And she cursed herself. For leaving home just like that, for buying a flight ticket to Jordan, for an inappropriate dream about that Lexa woman, who had bought her dinner last night and for some reason, she felt extremely guilty about everything. _What the fuck am I doing here?_ She wanted to go home.

She found herself sitting down on a bench in a street that was different from the rest of the city. She didn't know what it was but she liked it, so she pulled out her sketchbook and started drawing to clear her mind but her thoughts kept wandering back to Lexa and the _dream._

"What's so special about this street that you draw it?" Clarke's head shot up and her cheeks immediately blushed. Clarke had almost accepted the fact that she would never see Lexa again, because really, what were the odds? And yet here she was, standing a few feet away from her, hands in her pockets, head slightly tilted and her lips forming a small smirk.

"I uh– it's just... I don't know, it's cool, don't you think? Wait, what are _you_ doing here?"

"I had an appointment about the project and I was on my way back to the hotel but I always go here at least once when I'm in Amman."

"So you like it, too! Why did you sound so surprised then?" Clarke furrowed her brows.

"Let's say the Rainbow Street has its own charm which not too many people understand." Lexa laughed and sat down next to Clarke.

 _Rainbow Street? This is not happening right now. Oh the irony._ Clarke thought and her breathing slightly picked up on speed.

"May I see?" Lexa pointed at Clarke's sketchbook.

"Uhh it's not that... good. I just doodle around from time to time when I see something I like and I– what?" Clarke paused when Lexa's cheeks twitched into a soft smile.

"I usually don't consider art _good_ or _bad_ , I just… like to see things through the artist's eyes."

That caught Clarke off guard. Had the brunette just said the exact thing that Clarke loved about art? Seeing things through someone's eyes, trying to figure out what the artists were thinking and feeling while creating a piece? Without a word, she handed the sketchbook to Lexa.

"This is beautiful, Clarke." She said after a few moments and turned the page, "and this–"

"Is not finished yet..."

"It's amazing though. All the details…" Lexa's fingers carefully traced the thin lines, "I love Istanbul."

"How did you know it's Istanbul? Have you been you there?" Clarke's eyes slightly widened.

"Yeah I always make sure to stay at least one day in the city when I happen to travel via Turkey." The brunette stated and Clarke's jaw dropped a bit more. Lexa had just become the most interesting person she'd ever met. It seemed like the woman traveled a lot and Clarke envied her.

"So what's the project you mentioned?" Clarke asked and watched as Lexa shifted a bit, taking a moment to carefully close the sketchbook before handing it back to Clarke.

"There's a new site in Petra and a friend of mine conducts the excavation, so he offered me to join them. They believe it's another sacrificial altar."

"Petra?"

"Yeah, it's an–"

"I know what it is, I mean I've watched Indiana Jones!" Clarke interrupted her with a grin and Lexa laughed, causing the blonde's pulse to speed up even more.

"What about you? What's on your schedule for the next days? How long are you here for by the way?"

"I– honestly don't know." Clarke shook her head, her eyes dropping to the book in her hands. "I mean I just kinda booked the flight and here I am… no idea what to do here and I'm actually annoyed already." She laughed nervously. "I'm usually not the spontaneous type of person, I don't just buy a flight ticket to a foreign country and go there, especially not all by myself."

"But you did." Lexa noted softly.

"But I did."

"Do you regret it?"

"No, of course not... Well maybe, a bit." Clarke sighed. "Yes, I regret it. I'm super lost here, kinda, and I miss my friends and it's just... I mean the city is great but… I don't know. It sucks, you know?"

Lexa nodded. "The first time I went to a foreign country on my own was similar for me. It can feel lonely if you don't really have something to spend your time on." She paused for a moment. "Do you want to see Petra?"

"Do I– what?"

"I'm leaving in two hours and I think you'll like it there, so if you'd like, I could give you a ride so you can visit it?"

Clarke didn't really know what to think or say, at all. Of course she'd love to see the historical city and if she was being honest, she wanted to see it with Lexa because something about the woman fascinated her. And she wanted to get to know her.

Lexa smiled and got up. "It's a non–binding offer, I'll have to work anyway, so I won't bother you. You don't have to, if you don't want."

"No I– I'd love to!" Clarke quickly blurted out and got up as well, maybe a bit too enthusiastically and she blushed again which, again, didn't go unnoticed by Lexa but the brunette just smirked.

"Well then, _Miss Spontaneous_ , let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

They arrived in the early afternoon and went to Lexa's hotel first. It seemed to be rather expensive and Clarke wondered about the salary of an archeological project manager… something, that she assumed Lexa was. While Lexa headed to the reception desk, the blonde looked around the lobby and then flipped through an information sheet about the hotel.

"Did you know that this hotel is like 300 feet away from the entrance gate to Petra?" She blurted out excitedly when Lexa approached her. The brunette raised an eyebrow and let laugh a small laugh.

"Yeah I actually do. I've been here before."

"Right." Clarke blushed. Of course Lexa knew. "So do you possibly know a hotel where I can– what's that?" She paused when Lexa handed her a small card.

"That's your key card."

"That's what? Are you kidding me? Lexa I can't afford a room here!" Clarke stated and looked at Lexa with wide eyes, and sighed when she realized that Lexa wasn't going to accept a _No._

"How am I supposed to pay for it?" She asked weakly.

"Clarke, take the card." Lexa said with a soft smile and held the small plastic card closer to Clarke, encouraging her to take it.

 _This is not gonna end well. I'll be broke as fuck when I get home._ Clarke thought and reluctantly took the key card.

"I have to make a few calls but I have the afternoon off, would you fancy a short tour through the city?" Clarke nodded.

"Great!" Lexa smiled, "See you in 30 minutes?" Clarke nodded again. She still couldn't believe what she was doing. She was in a super expensive hotel, with a key card to a super expensive room, because she spontaneously followed a stranger whom she just couldn't get out of her mind. _What – the fuck – am I doing!_

The walk through the _Siq_ , the narrow entrance passage to the historical city of Petra, took them around fifteen minutes, and when they stepped out and looked right at the _Al Khazneh_ , the big Treasury, Clarke went breathless. The sight was amazing. She had seen pictures of it before but they absolutely did no justice to it.

"The Nabateans built it in the first century Anno Domini, actually as a mausoleum." Lexa explained and Clarke was, again, stunned by the brunette's knowledge.

"How come it's called _Treasury_ then?" The blonde asked, without taking her eyes from the huge monument.

"There's a legend that bandits hid their loot in it."

That woman was a walking encyclopedia. They slowly continued their tour, passing a few caves and another roman theater and Lexa explained a few rocks and ruins here and there. Clarke didn't really say much at all, she was just trying to handle all the information and especially the breathtaking impressions.

She snapped back to reality when Lexa grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"Clarke there's a camel. You almost ran into it. Open your eyes maybe?" The brunette laughed and Clarke's heart skipped a beat. It was beginning to be too much. The impressions and sights and monuments, and now that intelligent and breathtakingly stunning woman with that beautiful, _beautiful_ voice was holding her hand. She blushed and when Lexa let go of her hand again, the loss of the ever so soft skin almost hurt.

"You should be more careful. Those beauties can actually kill you." _Yes, beauties can actually kill m–what the fuck Clarke, you can't think things like that! Stop it!_ She sighed and followed Lexa back towards the Siq. She realized the sun was already going down, they must have spent hours in the ancient city.

"Dinner here is actually quite enjoyable, so would you like to accompany me?" Lexa suggested when they arrived back at the hotel.

"Yes please!" Clarke blurted out and Lexa raised an eyebrow. "I mean…" the blonde cleared her throat, "I'd prefer staying in the hotel for dinner since my feet are killing me to be honest."

"I can imagine. Okay, so, I'll pick you up at your room in, let's say 20 minutes?"

"Sounds great!" _Shit. Clarke, pull yourself together! You act like a fuckin' teenager... a very smitten fuckin' teenager._

"Oh my God that's delicious!" Clarke rolled her eyes at the first bite of her dinner.

"That's Freekeh. One of my favorites, too." Lexa replied and smiled.

"Well what is it though?"

"It's basically some kind of roasted wheat, it's usually served with vegetables."

Clarke stopped chewing for a moment in disbelief and then swallowed. "How come you know all these things?!"

The brunette just winked and took a sip of her wine.

After dinner found them at the lounge, chatting about the day and Lexa answered some more questions about what they'd seen so far and Clarke actually allowed her to flip through her sketchbook again. There were tons of drawings and sketches, most of them showing architecture or landscapes, until Lexa paused at a page and looked at it for a moment.

"You've drawn him a few times."

"Yeah he's my... that's Finn." Clarke tried, hoping Lexa would turn the page, but she didn't, so the blonde reluctantly continued. "He's the reason I'm here. He is– was... my boyfriend. I kinda caught him with someone else... it wasn't even the first time and... yeah. I took a few days off to figure out what I want. I mean he's... we were a couple for such a long time and I... I don't know."

 _Why the fuck are you telling her this? She doesn't need to know. You don't know her, you don't have to pour your heart out on your second evening together!_ She cursed herself and looked at Lexa, who just looked back at her, but not pitying or judgemental, as Clarke had expected. There was something else in the brunette's eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked nervously.

Lexa knitted her brows. "I'm wondering why a beautiful and smart woman actually considers going back to someone who treats her like that."

Clarke blushed and felt stupid. She didn't even love Finn anymore. If she was being honest, she stopped loving him when he first cheated on her but she kept going back to him, forgiving him every time, always trying to believe him when he said it wouldn't happen again, he'd change for her. He never did though and at one point, she stopped to even bother. She pretended everything was alright when it really wasn't.

"I guess I... I mean he..."

"Clarke, you don't have to justify yourself. I know how you feel. It's not easy but he's not worth it." Lexa said softly and tucked her lips into a soft smile before she turned the page. "This one is beautiful, too."

"That's the house I grew up in." Clarke explained with a smile.

It had gotten quite late and they decided to get some sleep. Lexa walked the blonde to her room and waited for Clarke to open the door.

Clarke turned the knob and opened the door before turning to the brunette. "I had a great day, Lexa. Thanks again for, you know, taking me with you and the sightseeing tour and uh, spending your time with me and... yeah, thanks." Clarke rambled nervously, not quite sure what to say. She hadn't realized how close she was to Lexa, and before she knew what she was doing, she leaned forwards but Lexa took a small step back.

"Shit! I'm – _so –_ sorry! That's the alcohol. I didn't mean to– I... fuck. Lexa I'm sorry!"

But the brunette didn't seem upset at all, she still had a calm look on her face and she was still wearing a smile. "Good night, Clarke" she said softly and turned around.

 _Clarke! what. the. fuck. Lexa's probably super straight and so are you, actually. Or not? Fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?!_ she thought and fell face first onto her bed. "Can I please die." she mumbled into her pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

" _Clarkeyy, what's up! Where are you? Your room looks different."_ Clarke was facetiming with her best friends.

"Yeah I'm actually not in Amman anymore, I– wait, are you two naked?!" The girls giggled.

" _What do you mean you're not there anymore? Where are you?!"_ Raven raised her eyebrows, almost concerned.

"I um... I'm in Wadi Musa. That's like–"

" _Wadi what?"_

"That's near Petra. You know, the ancient city?" Raven and Octavia just kept staring into the camera. "Guys, the Indiana Jones movie? The big temple thing?"

" _Ohhh right. What are you doing there?"_

"Visiting it?"

" _Great! God that's so cool! Post some photos later! We actually have to... sleep now. Nighty night!"_ The girls giggled again and Clarke rolled her eyes but smiled.

"Yeah right. Night guys!"

It was around 6 in the morning and Clarke really didn't want to get up. She remembered the incident with Lexa several hours ago and she just wanted to hole up, preferably thousands of miles away. But unfortunately, that wasn't an option. She had promised Lexa to meet her for breakfast at 7, so she reluctantly got up, took a shower and got ready for the day.

When the elevator doors opened, she immediately saw Lexa standing next to the dining room. She sucked in a deep breath and tried to somewhat calm down, feeling her cheeks slightly blush anyway. The brunette smiled softly when Clarke approached her.

"Good morning! Hope you slept well."

"Yeah, I... listen Lexa, about yesterday–" Clarke started but Lexa waved her off.

"Don't worry about it, Clarke. Save your energy, we have a lot to visit today." She smiled and led Clarke towards a free table.

"What do you mean 'we'? I thought you're working today?" Clarke asked in confusion as she sat down.

"I am, but it won't take long and it's right on the way anyway. If you like, I could show you more places. There's one I'm sure you'll like." Lexa explained and pointed to Clarke's empty cup on the table. "Coffee?"

"I... okay, that's... thanks! Sounds great actually– both, the trip and the coffee."

Their way led through the Siq and past the Treasury again, and although she had already seen it the day before, Clarke was still stunned. They walked by the roman theater again, and a bit more than a mile further, until Lexa stopped in front of a, well, huge wall of rock, and motioned for Clarke to get going.

"Wait, what?"

"This way."

" _This_ way? Are you kidding me? I'm not climbing that thing, like vertically!" Lexa laughed and gently pushed Clarke a few feet sideways, until Clarke could see some stairs. "Clarke, this way."

The walk up was more exhausting than Clarke had expected, but then again, they were kind of climbing a mountain. It took them an hour to walk the 800 steps and when they finally arrived at the top, Clarke, breathing heavily, headed towards some stones that were forming some kind of a seating area.

Lexa let out a small laugh when she, not appearing exhausted at all and her breathing still calm, approached her. "Clarke, you actually have to–"

"You monster!" Clarke breathed out, "I'm not going anywhere! I'm dead, I'm dying! Look at me, this is my life, ending right here right now."

"Clarke, you don't have to go anywhere. You just have to turn around." Lexa smiled and sat down next to the blonde, facing in the opposite direction, so Clarke followed her instruction and her jaw dropped.

They were looking at a building that looked exactly like the Treasury, but so much bigger.

"This is called _Ad Deir_ , _The Monastery._ "

" _This..._ " Clarke emphasized the word by pointing at the monument, "is beautiful!"

"I knew you'd like it. I have to go and talk to a friend over there," Lexa pointed at a roofed area where tourists and bedouins were having lunch and smoking water pipes, "so you can catch a breath and then we'll get going, okay?"

" _Get going_? Are you kidding me?" Clarke huffed but couldn't help but also send a smile to Lexa.

"Trust me, you don't want to miss the next spot." Lexa winked and disappeared.

"What could possibly be more exciting than– can I open my eyes now?"

"Nope."

"Lexa, I really do trust you, although I really shouldn't, but it's not very comforting to stumble around blindly on top of a mountain that's definitely not secured, like with a fence or something."

Clarke was walking carefully, with Lexa's hands on her eyes to make sure she wouldn't peek.

"Clarke, relax. I won't let you fall off anything," she promised and led Clarke towards the actual edge of the rock. "I got you, okay? Just... don't take a huge step forwards."

"Oh great, I feel much safer now. I'm gonna die, aren't I?"

"I'm right here, I promise. Ready?"

"No?" Clarke replied. Lexa let out a laugh and removed her hands from Clarke's eyes, immediately laying them on the blonde's hips to assure her that she was there and that Clarke was safe.

Clarke didn't say anything though, the view stole her breath... the view and, well, Lexa, who was still standing behind her, so close that Clarke could feel the brunette's body, with her hands on her hips, and her face now only a few inches away from Clarke's ear.

"They call this view _The End Of The World_." Lexa said barely over a whisper, and Clarke shivered and closed her eyes for a short moment. The brunette's scent was intoxicating and the closeness of the woman drove her insane.

"There," Lexa pointed in one direction and Clarke's eyes followed her hand, "is the Dead Sea. And somewhere behind that, there's Syria. And there," she slightly moved her arm, "is Israel and behind those mountains," she softly turned Clarke around, "are the Red Sea and Egypt."

Lexa gently pulled away and took a few steps back to let Clarke take in the view. The blonde took a few photos, as she had promised her friends she would, and then turned to Lexa.

"Lexa, come here for a second, selfie!"

"Really, Clarke? Selfie?"

"Yep, I need proof. Please?" Clarke smiled and then took a photo of Lexa and herself in front of the stunning panorama of the Jordanian landscape.

"As thankful as I am that you showed me the Ad... what's it called again?"

"Ad Deir."

"Right, that, and the top of the world–"

"End of the world."

"Right. As thankful as I am that you showed me... them, the climbing really killed my feet." Clarke said exhaustedly. "How long's the way back?"

"A few miles but really not too long."

"A few _miles_?" Clarke exclaimed and stumbled over a stone but quickly found her balance again.

"They offer camel rides back, how does that sound?"

"What, really?" Clarke's eyes widened and Lexa laughed.

"Yeah, really. Want one?" Clarke nodded excitedly and watched as the brunette headed towards a guy next to a camel. "Kam fulus rukub al jamal?" The man replied something and Lexa furrowed her brow and talked back, and a moment later, she nodded "Eyewa, shukran", and motioned for Clarke to get on the camel. "It's all yours."

"Cool! … Wait, what do I do?"

Lexa's lips formed a soft smile as she stepped closer to the camel. "Move slowly and then just, throw your leg over it and pull yourself up. The camel is sitting, so it's all good. Don't worry." Clarke nodded. "Oh and– don't look it in the eye."

"Oh great. It's gonna kill me, isn't it? I'm gonna die. Awesome."

"Clarke, just get on the camel."

Clarke hesitated for a moment but then followed Lexa's instructions and although she was clumsy as hell, it was easier than she had thought. "Aren't you getting on it?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"Come on Lexa, there's enough space for the two of us." The second these words escaped Clarke's mouth, she mentally face palmed herself. _Great, Clarke. Invite her to sit right behind you, why don't you? Just like you're totally okay with her being so close! On the other hand..._

Lexa smirked but didn't move, so Clarke spoke again. "What are you waiting for?"

The brunette raised an eyebrow and in one swift and graceful move, she was sitting behind Clarke, her hands gently laying on the blonde's hips, again. Clarke took in a deep breath. _It's cool, all right, all good._ Her heart was beating fast but she would have been lying if she had said she didn't actually enjoy the feeling of Lexa's closeness and her hands on her hips.

The camel got up and the camel leader slowly walked it through the ancient city and towards the exit.

When Clarke could trust her voice and especially her words again, she spoke. "Did you really just speak Arabic?"

"Kind of."

"Well how the hell did you learn Arabic? That's like Russian or Chinese, no one learns that voluntarily. You might as well just speak Elvish."

"Speak Elvish? Av-'osto." Lexa laughed while Clarke slowly, dangerously slow, turned around and narrowed her eyes. "You did not – just – speak – Elvish." Lexa smirked. "Oh my God, you're a freak! Go away, leave me alone!"

Behind her, Lexa laughed softly. "Relax, that's the only phrase I know."

"Well what does it mean?"

"It kind of means _Don't worry._ "

"… you're still a freak."

They arrived at the hotel around 7 and went to their rooms. Lexa had some work left to do and Clarke wanted to let her friends know she was still alive. She opted for uploading the photos instead and paused for a moment when the selfie with Lexa appeared on her phone screen. She smiled and uploaded it, too.

"Any plans for after dinner?" Lexa asked and took a sip of her wine.

"Sleep, I guess? Why?"

"There's something I'd like to show you."


	6. Chapter 6

"Lexa, not again. I really can't walk anymore." It was 8:30pm and they were, again, walking towards the entrance of the Siq.

"Clarke, stop whining. Come on, this is worth it." Lexa laughed and encouragingly took Clarke's hand, and the blonde's brain went blank for a moment. When they entered the narrow passage though, all the pain of previous walks disappeared. It was beautiful. The Siq was lit by candles on both sides and the air was so clear that Clarke could see the star–studded dark sky above them.

They walked in silence, their hands still intertwined, and when they approached the Khazneh, Clarke's jaw dropped. The whole floor in front of the Treasury was covered in candles. Lexa gently led her to a mat on the ground in the back, close to the rock wall behind them.

"What is this?" Clarke whispered.

"It's _Petra By Night_. Thousands of stars and candles, combined with traditional Bedouin music and, well, tea. It helps you feel the magic and mystery of this place."

"Do you really think I need more than I've already seen today and yesterday to feel the ma–"

"Clarke?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up." Lexa smiled and turned to see the show.

And Lexa was right. The music, the candles, the stars, even the tea and sitting on the ground, the simplicity of the event... it was perfect.

Clarke was so stunned that she didn't even notice a tear slowly rolling down her cheek, until she felt a soft thumb wiping it away. She turned her head and looked at Lexa whose eyes reflected hundreds of candles, and she shivered slightly when she saw the brunette's lips form a small smile, her eyes never looking away. When she gently tucked a loose strand behind the blonde's ear, Clarke couldn't take it anymore. She leaned forward and slowly closed the gap, their lips barely touching and for a moment, Clarke forgot how to breathe, until she felt Lexa kiss her back.

"Can I ask you a question?" Clarke broke the silence. They were sitting on the hotel roof next to the pool and looked over the town.

"Of course"

"Why…" the blonde paused, unsure how to continue, "I mean the other day, when I…" Lexa turned her head to look at Clarke.

"When I tried to…"

"Kiss me?"

"Yeah," Clarke nodded and continued with a dry throat and a pounding heart, "Why did you... and now... Why did you back away?"

Lexa sighed and shifted a little into a more upright position.

"Clarke this…"

"I mean you let me kiss you today and you kissed me back, why did you push me away yesterday?" Lexa's lips slightly parted but she didn't say anything, so Clarke continued. "Are you in a relationship?"

"No"

"Okay um, are you still in love with an ex or something?"

"It's not like that, Clarke." Lexa said softly.

"Then what is it? Were you annoyed and just let it happen today so that I just… I don't know, can be happy because I got what I wanted?" The blonde's voice was getting stronger and slightly louder. She felt sorry for her outburst but she was extremely confused and she had to know.

"I just wanted it to be special, I guess." Lexa replied quietly, still looking at Clarke, whose eyes widened in some sort of disbelief. She hadn't seen _that_ coming.

"Well shit." She mumbled and watched as Lexa knitted her eyebrows. "No! Not like that. God I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry, I…" _What the fuck is wrong with you, Clarke? Someone tried to make a first kiss special for you and you totally messed it up! Only because you've never met someone who wanted a first kiss to be perfect, doesn't mean that people like that don't exist. Shit!_

"To be honest, I've just never met someone who actually... cared about a small thing like that."

"A small thing?"

"No, that's not what I…", Clarke sighed and softened her voice. "I'm just messing this up more, aren't I?"

Before Lexa could reply, Clarke's phone went off, Raven was calling. She hesitated for a moment and decided to put her phone away again, but Lexa motioned for her to answer the call.

"Hey Rae, I'm–"

" _WHO THE FUCK IS THAT CHICK IN YOUR PHOTO?"_ Raven yelled into the phone and Clarke immediately held the device as far away from her ear as possible, and blushed when she realized that Lexa probably had heard Raven, especially because the brunette raised an eyebrow at her.

"Um. I kinda met her in–"

" _Did you get off with her or something?!"_

"Raven, can we maybe–"

" _Oh my God, CLARKE! You fu–"_

"Raven!"Clarke waited for a moment but Raven didn't speak. "I'll call you later, okay? … Tell O I said Hi. Bye Rae!" _S_ he hung up and slowly released a breath before she turned back to Lexa, who was expectantly looking back at her. "That was my... best friend. I'm sorry. Sometimes, she can be a little–"

"Chick in your photo, huh?"

"Yeah I... might have uploaded our selfie?"

"You might have uploaded our selfie? How certain are you about that?"

"Very much, kind of?"

"And that's your best friend's reaction?"

"Yeah...?"

"Well I already like her."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"Yeah, I actually am." Lexa said dryly and got up.

"Great." Clarke sighed. Every time she was sure that a situation just couldn't get worse, Raven showed up or called. "I should go to bed now." She explained and got up as well. "It's been a long day and..." she paused but then shook her head, "Good night, Lexa." She turned around to the stairs but a moment later, she felt Lexa gently grab her arm to stop her.

"Clarke, wait. Look, whatever your friend said, I don't care." Lexa explained with a calm voice, "I'm just surprised that you posted our photo, that's all. Don't get me wrong with that, please. I'm not upset, okay? I just didn't expect it. And I didn't get the chance yet to thank you for today, because I really had a good time. Would you–" she paused to tuck a strand behind Clarke's ear, "would you please stop looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"With those sad eyes?" Lexa said softly and her left cheek twitched into a small one–sided smile before she leaned forward and left a kiss on the blonde's cheek.

"You did nothing wrong, okay?" Clarke nodded. "Okay." Lexa nodded as well, relieved. "Let's go inside then"

She walked Clarke to her room again and gently cupped the woman's face to pull her into a tender kiss. "Good night, Clarke."


	7. Chapter 7

"So what's on the schedule today?" Clarke asked between two bites. It was fairly early, considering she was actually on vacation, but she didn't really mind. Maybe because she was having breakfast with a beautiful brunette whom she liked and who fortunately liked her back. At least that's what the blonde assumed.

"I actually have to work, at least until lunch, but maybe I can get off early so I'll have the afternoon off again… I can't promise that though. But I can tell you some more places to go, if– what?" Lexa stopped when she noticed Clarke's widened eyes.

"I'm pretty sure I'll get lost if I march around on my own and I'll never find back to the hotel and I'll probably starve to death in a cleft like James Franco because I'm clumsy as hell, unless I cut off my arm and–"

"Clarke." Lexa tried to stop Clarke's panicked rambling but unsuccessfully so.

"No seriously, you saw me when I tried to climb the stairs yesterday and I tripped on like every–"

"Calm down. I can ask a friend to guide you through the rocks, if you feel safer then." Lexa offered.

"Well that would be great actually." Clarke smiled, feeling relieved but if she was being honest, also a little disappointed at the thought of not being with Lexa for hours. _Earth to Clarke, get your shit together!_

"Clarke, this is Ibrahim, one of my closest friends. If there's anyone you can trust here, it's him." Lexa introduced the blonde to a tall Bedouin with dark eyelinered eyes and a head scarf. "I have to get to work now but I'll meet you for lunch?"

"Al–Madhbah?" Ibrahim asked and Lexa considered the suggestion for a moment and nodded, kissed Clarke on the cheek and left.

"You must be special to her, usually women don't have such an intimate contact in public here and although people in Jordan are quite tolerant and open–minded, you shouldn't risk it." The Bedouin let out a warm laugh and politely motioned for Clarke to follow him. The blonde blushed; She knew Arab countries weren't too excited about homosexuality but she hadn't thought about it, at all, especially not the night before when she kissed Lexa, just like that, in public, without a second thought.

"Yeah she... was that bad?" she asked worriedly but Ibrahim laughed again.

"Don't worry, there are more tourists here than there are locals in Jordan, they probably don't bother at all. Just don't be too eager though to find out in the rest of the country."

"Got it!"

They walked in silence for some moments, and Clarke was again fascinated by the ancient city and although she'd walked that way twice before, there were still new details to discover. She just couldn't get enough.

"Where are we going actually?" Clarke asked and was secretly relieved that Ibrahim's pace was one of the slower kinds so she could relax a little from all the walking and climbing of the previous days.

"Up there." He said and pointed at a mountain top a few miles away, and Clarke's jaw dropped. _Nevermind._

The walk through _Wadi Farasa_ was beautiful though. They stopped here and there, Clarke asked tons of questions and the Bedouin politely answered them all. They walked past the _Garden Triclinium_ , several tombs and the _Lion Fountain_ , carved into the rock as a part of the former water system that Petra was famous for, and then the climb began.

"How come you... actually... have no problem with... ugh–" Clarke tried to form a question but had serious difficulties with speaking and breathing at the same time, "climbing up this... thing? Ah shit–" she cursed and Ibrahim stopped with a worried look on his face. "Stitches," she breathed out and pointed to her hip, "all good, keep going."

He waited for a moment but when he was sure that Clarke was okay, he got going again.

"I grew up here, I've been living here my whole life. You get used to it eventually." He politely explained but Clarke could clearly see him smile to himself.

When the blonde checked her watch, she realized they'd actually been walking for several hours. "Are we there yet?"

"Actually yes, we are. See?" He replied and pointed at a large hand–leveled platform which appeared to be the very top of the mountain.

"Oh!... What is this place?"

"It's the _High Place._ "

Clarke smirked at him suspiciously. "High place? Just that? Not very creative for a place on a mountaintop."

"High, more like as in holy. Its full name is _High Place Of Sacrifice._ Mountain top? Closer to God? You know, they–"

"Did they kill people here?"

" _Can't you just enjoy the view?"_ A voice behind them laughed and they turned around to a grinning Lexa.

"How long have you been here?" Clarke's eyes slightly widened.

"I just arrived."

The blonde thought about their climb and she was sure there was no sight of Lexa, not behind them and definitely not before them, she would have noticed _that._ "You weren't behind us and definitely nowhere ahead, did you–"

"There's another path on the other side."

"Ohh..." _Nice one Clarke. Think before you speak, maybe? Just once? Lexa knows this place, she's been here before!_

They had lunch at the site and then made their way back down on a rather rocky slope and Clarke slipped twice but Lexa fortunately caught her before the blonde could have a, well, fatal fall.

They were standing at the dinner buffet in the hotel, and the blonde's mouth watered just at the sight. Everything looked so delicious. "What's that?" Clarke pointed at a dish.

"That's the salad bar, Clarke."

"No I mean what is _this_?"

"That's Fattoush."

"And that?"

"Tabbouleh."

Clarke waited for Lexa to fill her plate and then moved on to the main dishes. "And that?"

"Which one?"

"That?"

"That's Samosa." Lexa paused but before Clarke could continue, she decided to go through the rest, pointing at the dishes. "Kofta, Mujaddara and that's Makdous. Hungry much?"

"No, I just love the way you pronounce them." Clarke grinned and with a wink, she turned back to the buffet to actually get some food herself before they walked to an empty table and sat down.

"So when do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Not at all", Lexa replied and took another sip of her wine.

"But tomorrow is–"

"Friday. People here usually don't work on Fridays. It's their Sunday."

"Oh shit, now that you mention it…" _Well done, Clarke. You actually knew that._

"Yeah... and swearing isn't the best thing to do here, either. Just keep that in mind, maybe." The brunette smiled.

 _Great! Want to blunder some more because I'm sure you haven't embarrassed yourself enough already, Clarke!,_ she cursed herself.

"Sorry, really. So... anything else you've planned for tomorrow?"

"I was actually wondering whether you'd like to see Wadi Rum?" Lexa offered and Clarke nodded in excitement. Lexa had mentioned that place before, so Clarke was definitely interested in seeing it. With Lexa. On her day off. because why not?

"Well, then that's what I've planned for tomorrow." And with a smile, she got up and offered her hand to Clarke who hesitated for a moment, thinking about what Ibrahim had said earlier about _intimate contact between two women_ , but took it after Lexa raised an eyebrow. She was sure, or at least hoped, that Lexa knew what she was doing.


	8. Chapter 8

" _So who is the mysterious woman you hid from us?"_

"Her name is Lexa and I didn't hide her from you. I actually posted a photo of us, like, for the whole world to see."

" _Yeah and you wouldn't tell me who she is when I called you the other day!"_

"Yes, Raven, because she was sitting right next to me and you shouted loud enough for her to hear every single word."

" _Good!"_

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose. "No, that was embarrassing Rae and your timing couldn't have been worse!"

" _Clarkeyy! My timing is perfect, always!... What are you doing now?"_

"I'm actually packing my bag because–"

" _Are you coming back? Oh thank God, let's go get hammered wh–"_

"No, Raven. I still have two days left. We're going to Wadi Rum and–"

 _"Rum sounds great!"_

"Raven. And we're staying there for the night and we actually leave soon, so, was there anything important you wanted to tell me or can we end this call now?"

" _Why are you staying there for the night?"_

"Because..." Clarke had no idea. "I don't know, Lexa just said so. Maybe it's a long ride?"

" _Oh I hope it is!"_

"Raven! God... I'll hang up now."

" _No! Clarke! Don't you dare hang up on m–"_

"Byee Raven!" Clarke quickly ended the call and sighed. Five minutes on the phone with her best friend and she was already as exhausted as after one entire day of climbing and walking around. She pocketed her phone, grabbed her bag and left the hotel room to meet Lexa in the lobby.

The brunette was already there, talking to the receptionist. Clarke had to look twice though to make sure it really was Lexa since the woman was wearing a white Bedouin head scarf. With a grin, she walked over to the woman.

"You look... great, actually!" Clarke said as she approached the brunette who let out a small laugh and motioned for Clarke to follow her outside. However, she ignored the comment until they climbed into a car.

"Don't tell anyone I'm wearing it like that." Lexa laughed and started the engine.

"You're basically running around in public with it, so the whole world can actually see it." Clarke noted.

"Yeah but people here know me and in Wadi Rum, no one cares."

The blonde furrowed her brows and turned her head to look at Lexa. "Why is it a problem though?"

"Because usually only men wear it this way and women wear it more like a Hijab. _"_

"Oh I see. Well the way you're wearing it... it looks hot on you." Clarke grinned and Lexa turned towards Clarke for a moment and pointedly raised an eyebrow before she focused on the street again.

"Speaking of _hot_ …I hope you have something to cover your head with."

"Huh?"

Lexa shook her head. "We'll be spending a day in the desert, my dear. It's September, temperatures can still climb up to 35 degrees."

"What? That's _freezing_!"

"Celsius, Clarke."

"What's that in Fahrenheit though? An why would you use Celsius?"

"Around 95, I'd say. And I'm Australian. We do that."

"Ohh – your accent! It kinda makes sense now." Clarke noted with wide eyes and Lexa shook her head again, clearly amused now.

"Where did _you_ think I'm from?"

"I don't know..." the blonde admitted and blushed. "I guess I just uh– well assumed that you... I'm such an idiot." She felt like that infamous deer caught in the headlights, and she was embarrassed. Of course she had noticed Lexa's accent but for some reason, she had still located the brunette somewhere in North America… closer to her.

"Where are you from by the way?" Lexa asked after a few moments of silence.

"US. Boston. Been there before?"

"No, I've never been to the States actually."

"Well you're welcome anytime if you–" Clarke stopped. Whatever it was that was happening or _developing_ between her and Lexa, suddenly worried her. Not because it was wrong, but because she realized that she might never see the other woman again.

"If I what?" Lexa asked but Clarke remained silent. She didn't want to think about what would happen when she left and went back home.

Lexa glanced at the blonde before she softly spoke. "Clarke?"

"Uh if you want, I mean." She quickly replied and Lexa shot her a small smile. Clarke knew that the brunette had noticed that something bothered her, and that she probably even knew what exactly it was, but she didn't approach it and Clarke was more than thankful for this.

They arrived an hour later and when they climbed out of the car, a man walked up to them and heartily greeted Lexa. After a small conversation – Clarke was, again, amazed by the woman's Arabic; it sounded fluent and she seemed to have no difficulties to find words or form sentences – the man waved them goodbye and Lexa opened the trunk of her car.

"Who was that?" Clarke asked while she watched the man leave.

"A friend. Come here please," Lexa said while pulling a scarf out of her bag, before she folded it into a triangle and threw it over Clarke's head.

The blonde narrowed her eyes. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm wrapping a scarf around your head, Clarke, so you won't get sun–struck and die."

"How thoughtful."

Lexa was quick in her movements and a few moments later, Clarke had a perfectly wrapped scarf around her head and while she checked herself in her phone's front camera, Lexa was already on her way towards a nearby tent. She didn't enter it though, instead walked around it and Clarke almost had to run to catch up with her.

"Lexa wh– _Lexa!_ Are you stealing that camel? You can't just– oh, you can." She commented as Lexa calmly untied a camel. "Well, okay...?"

"Get on the camel, Clarke." The brunette ordered softly while she led the animal into a sitting position and Clarke's eyes widened.

"I'm _not_ gonna–"

"You can also walk those ten kilometers." Lexa interrupted her and Clarke immediately turned back to the camels.

"Which one is mine?"

She clumsily climbed up the camel again and Lexa smirked but didn't say anything, she just made sure that Clarke was properly and safely sitting in the saddle so that she wouldn't fall off, and then she pulled the reins over the saddle horn.

"Where's the leash?" Clarke asked after watching Lexa curiously.

"What leash?"

The blonde knitted her eyebrows. "The leash that the camel leader... leads the... camel... with?"

"What camel leader?" Lexa smirked while ordering for Clarke's camel to get up before she turned and untied a second camel.

"The... _what_ are you doing?"

"I'm untying my camel." It took a moment for Clarke to realize what was happening.

"Noooo nononono. No. Are we– are you– I'm _not_ riding this camel on – my – own! Let me down!"

"God, Clarke, relax… I'll take your reins when I'm up there."

"I'm gonna die. Wait, don't you have to–" Clarke stopped when Lexa gracefully climbed the standing camel in two swift moves. "No you don't."

"Hand me the reins." Lexa said but Clarke froze. She finally fully realized that she was sitting on a camel, all by herself, and she was afraid that she would fall off of it if she actually moved to hand Lexa the reins.

The brunette noticed. "Trust me, you'll be perfectly fine. Nothing will happen, okay?" She softly reassured Clarke. "That beauty is trained to stay still until you or someone else shows him you're ready."

"Why the hell–"

"Language, Clarke."

"... why on earth are you so brave?" The blonde corrected herself and Lexa smirked but said nothing, her hand still stretched out, waiting for Clarke to hand her the rope, which the woman very carefully and very reluctantly did.


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke was tightly holding on to the saddle horn but had built up the courage to at least look around. The red sand and the vastness of the desert overwhelmed her, just like everything else.

"So, Miss _Tourist Guide_ ," Clarke started and Lexa playfully rolled her eyes at the blonde's choice of words, "tell me about this place."

"Wadi Rum has– hm?" Lexa began but paused when she saw the slight change in Clarke's expression.

"Sorry. What does _Wadi_ mean actually? It's like in every second word." Clarke replied.

"It means valley. This one has tons of rock paintings, like graffiti actually... marks of ancient inhabitants. The Nabateans for example–" she paused again for a moment when Clarke pointed at a gigantic rock in the distance. "Question?"

"Yeah… what's that? That looks familiar."

"Have you ever heard of the Arab Revolt?" Lexa asked and sighed when Clarke narrowed her eyes. "... watched _The Martian_?"

Clarke's eyes widened. "What, really?"

"You can't be serious."

"Of course I've heard of the Arab Rev– oh, wow! This is the _Seven Pillars of Wisdom_ rock, isn't it?" She stated excitedly and Lexa nodded.

"Would you like to see it?"

"I'm good. We still have some miles to go, right?" Clarke bravely turned her head to Lexa who nodded again. "We better keep going then."

They arrived at a camp an hour later. Lexa, gracefully as always, slid down the camel and then led Clarke's into a sitting position and helped the blonde climb down.

"Oh my God, I didn't die!" Clarke happily noted, causing Lexa to shake her head with an amused smirk.

"Another friend?" Clarke guessed while nodding towards someone behind Lexa and the other woman turned around to follow Clarke's view. A handsome Bedouin approached them, wearing a big smile when Lexa met him halfway. The two had a small exchange as well, talking fast, heavily gesturing between a big tent, Clarke and the ground, while Clarke stayed next to the camels, watching the conversation in fascination.

"Clarke?"

"Huh?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Well I could eat something but we don't have to–" she answered but stopped because Lexa had already turned around to the man again and seemed to discuss or explain something and after a moment, he nodded and disappeared into the tent behind him.

As Lexa explained later, she and the Bedouin, Fathi, had discussed what to prepare for dinner, which was a late lunch rather, and had agreed on giving Clarke an insight into the Bedouin life, which basically meant that they used an earth oven, a pit in the ground. Although, or maybe exactly because it was so simple, Clarke was fascinated. She had come to Jordan to relax for a few days and get certain things off her mind, and now she had been invited to join a typical and especially original cultural cooking event that she'd never dreamed to see. The hospitality still overwhelmed her. What overwhelmed her as well was the effort that Lexa put into everything so that Clarke would enjoy every minute of her vacation.

While Fathi and two others prepared the meal, the two women sat on a rock outside the camp and enjoyed the view. While Lexa seemed relax at the sight, Clarke felt sadness slightly take over her mind. She had one day left and she knew she should live for the present and not think about tomorrow but on the other hand, she needed to _know_ , so she braced up and spoke.

"Lexa?"

"Hm?"

"What happens when I, you know... go back home?"

Lexa sighed and slightly narrowed her eyes but kept staring into the distance.

"What would you want to happen?" She softly asked back and Clarke remained silent for a long moment before she sucked in a deep breath and straightened her spine.

"Will I see you again?"

Lexa looked down for a second and then turned her head to meet the blonde's eye. "I don't know."

Clarke nodded. This was the answer she was hoping not to get but if she was being honest, it was the only answer Lexa could actually give her. When Lexa shifted a little and laid an arm around her to gently pull her closer, Clarke rested her head on the brunette's shoulder. She felt the urge to cry slowly build up and closed her eyes to prevent the tears from falling but it was too late. The blink released a single drop and when Lexa kissed her head, she knew that the woman knew.

Half an hour later, Lexa got up. "They're about to get the food out." She smiled, took Clarke's hand and gently pulled the blonde up and back to the camp where two men were removing sand from the pit's lid and then pulled the grid, at least that's what it looked like, out of the hole in the ground.

The lamb and potatoes smelled and looked delicious and Clarke smiled when she saw the buffet. It wasn't much but she could tell that the guys had prepared it with love, and her mouth watered immediately.

It turned out that no one really spoke English, so Lexa almost didn't get the chance to eat at all since she kept translating. Apparently they lived some kind of a nomad life in the desert, depending on the seasons, as they explained. Clarke was, again, or still, overwhelmed by their hospitality but, as she found out, it was part of their culture, or religion, or both, to host strangers, and especially friends of the family. When she heard that she smiled since she _technically_ wasn't a friend of the _family_ , more like the friend of a friend but they didn't really seem to take these definitions too seriously anyway.

After dinner, Clarke just dropped another brick when she began to help the others to clean the table. Apparently, it was a somewhat insulting or at least impolite gesture as Lexa explained because she was their _guest_ , so she sat back down and felt rather horrible to watch others do the work but the brunette assured her that it was _absolutely fine_.

The then served tea was some kind of a _farewell–drink_ and Clarke made sure Lexa's friends knew how thankful she was, and after the third time of translating a _Thank You for..._ , Lexa went over to simple nodding.

"Taani."

"–and for the great dinner."

"Taani." Lexa nodded again and her friends began to laugh.

"–aaand for... What are you saying to them?"

"It means _Again."_ The brunette smirked and Clarke blushed.

"Mmhhh... Shukran!" Clarke tried instead and four people almost exploded with excitement. "Whoops..." she helplessly turned to the woman next to her, "Lexa I don't understand a thing of what they're–" she didn't get to finish her sentence because suddenly, everyone in the tent got quiet when they heard a jeep approach. Clarke could catch a few confused glances and when an elder man entered the tent, Fathi and Lexa slowly got up, just a second before the other man's eyes rested on Clarke.

The blonde could feel the immediate tension and shifted a little but felt Lexa's foot slightly kick hers to tell her to stay still and especially not get up.


	10. Chapter 10

Outside the tent, Lexa was clearly arguing with the elder man. It had taken them around two minutes to raise their voices, which was when Fathi entered the tent again where Clarke and Lexa's friends were still sitting, afraid to move, not saying a word, just listening to the fight. When the man spit two words at Lexa, the fight suddenly stopped.

"… what did he say?" Clarke whispered and Fathi slightly huffed.

"It means 'Shame'." He explained and a second later, the arguing continued.

Clarke furrowed her brows. "What are they fighting about though?"

Fathi took a moment to consider his words before he quietly cleared his throat. "He's not really amused that Lexa brought her... a girl here."

The blonde shook her head. "Well but he doesn't need to care about her and what she does. I mean I get that he's like the boss here but her life is none of his business anyway, so why the fuss?"

"Technically–"

"Clarke? This is my dad." Their heads shot up and when Clarke realized what Lexa had just said, her jaw dropped. Lexa ignored it and calmly continued. "He wants to meet you, so… would you come out here for a second?" Clarke stared at Lexa and then, mouth open and eyes widened, her nodding changed into a head–shaking. Lexa perked her eyebrows up and mouthed a _Please_ at Clarke. _Death!_ the blonde mouthed back and pointed at the man outside the tent. Lexa shook her head and stretched out her hand, gesturing for Clarke to take it and follow her.

When they approached the man, his eyes were soft and his lips formed a smile, the same smile that Clarke had seen on Lexa so many times before.

"I would like to apologize for my behavior," he started and Clarke was surprised at his nearly perfect English. "I can assure you that it had nothing to do with you in particular." Clarke noticed Lexa's glance and the man's smile slightly faded but it didn't disappear.

"You must understand that with my daughter, our life was never really..." he paused when Lexa raised an eyebrow and his voice softened, "boring."

Clarke laughed but immediately covered her mouth when she realized she might have just offended him, or her, or both. Some of their culture's rules and details were still new to her.

The man nodded understandingly with a polite smile. "To be honest, I had not expected to see her with a... woman here. A few years ago, she–"

"Baba– la." Lexa interfered softly and he hesitated for a moment but nodded again, while Clarke was still utterly confused about the whole situation.

"I hope you have a pleasant stay," he said instead and his smile widened again, this time reaching his eyes, "and a safe passage back home."

"Actually, Sir, I go by–" Clarke spoke but paused when Lexa shook her head. "Thank you, Sir." She said instead and he nodded again before he turned back to his daughter and said something that Clarke assumed was _Goodbye_ , or something similar.

When he left, Lexa let out a long sigh. With a small smile, she pulled Clarke into a tender embrace. "I'm sorry."

They left the camp shortly after. It was early in the evening but Lexa explained that they still had a few more miles to go, so they climbed the camels again and started their _final_ _journey_ , as Fathi, who was actually Lexa's brother as they had told Clarke later, had called it.

They didn't say much and the few words they shared were about the dinner and the landscape. There were at least a million questions racing through Clarke's head but she decided to keep them to herself, especially because she was sure that Lexa needed some time to sort her own thoughts, questions and emotions as well. An hour later, Lexa stopped the camels, got off hers and helped Clarke climb down as well.

With furrowed brows, the blonde looked around. "What's so special here? The only thing I see is that small rock over there."

"We'll sleep here." Lexa winked and Clarke's eyes widened.

"We'll– what? We can't just sleep here, can we? I mean isn't that against the law or something?"

"Clarke," Lexa tilted her head, "we're in the middle of the desert, far away from where tourists go. Do you really think anyone will find us here?" She laughed and began to set up a tent which Clarke hadn't even realized Lexa had the parts for on her camel. She looked around once more and suddenly, a thought hit her and her heart started racing.

"Wait, are there animals here? Snakes? _Scorpions? Spiders?"_

"A few, but–"

"Am I gonna die?"

"Clarke. Do you ever talk about anything other than your death?"

The blonde shook her head in disbelief. "Easy for you to talk, you grew up here, you–"

"I didn't grow up here, really," Lexa interrupted her but continued when she noticed the confused look on Clarke's face, "only for a short time. I actually grew up in Australia."

"You guys have snakes and scorpions and spiders there, too! _Big_ ones! And you're not scared of any of them! You're not scared of anything!"

"That's not true, Clarke. I–" she began but hesitated, then got back to setting up the tent instead, "would you pass me that rope there, please?"

They were sitting in the red sand, their backs leaning against the small rock nearby the tent. It was fairly cold but they both had a camel wool blanket wrapped around them that was much warmer than Clarke had expected.

"Did you actually order thousands of stars and a full moon too to make an already perfect day even more... perfect? Just curious."

Lexa let out a soft laugh. "Almost full moon. And the star–studded sky is normal here."

"Well it's amazing," Clarke noted with a smile, "really. Thanks Lexa for showing me this and for the dinner earlier and for... everything, actually. Honestly, I don't know what to say at all, I mean this– this is just so... perfect."

Lexa smiled but didn't answer.

"Can I ask you something?" Clarke asked quietly and the brunette's eye met hers.

"What did your... father mean when he said your lives were never _boring_ with you and what was he referring to when he said _a few years ago_? And why was he so upset? And where is your mom?"

"That are a lot of questions." Lexa said calmly, her lips curling into a one sided smile but when Clarke didn't reply, she turned her head and gazed into the distance again.

"My mom lives in Australia. She parted with my father a few weeks after I was born. I spent my first five years here and then went to live with her. I went back to Jordan after I graduated from college, somehow I got drawn back."

"Do you live here?"

"No, I live in Sydney. I moved back two years ago." The brunette shifted a little. "And my father was upset because... the last time I introduced a woman to my family, it didn't end well. Costia, my... fiancée back then, had difficulties with our culture, she disagreed with most rules. Which is okay, absolutely. I don't judge her, I don't judge anyone who doesn't understand or agree with our culture. But she was immoderately disrespectful, so my father kicked her out and I never saw her again. Long story short." She smiled and looked back at Clarke who slightly smiled back at her but remained silent.

Lexa waited for a few moments, then got up and held out her hand for Clarke. "Let's get some sleep."


	11. Chapter 11

"Oh wow, this is... cozy!" Clarke laughed when they entered the tent. It was small, yes, but at the same time, Clarke was also referring to its _interior._ Instead of camping mats and sleeping bags, it had furs and blankets on the ground. However, she was still slightly worried, and she quickly let her gaze wander around.

Lexa watched with an amused smirk. "Don't worry, Clarke. There won't be any scorpions or snakes visiting. They rather run away than fight. And the tent is basically to keep sand cats and mice out."

"Aww there are cats here?"

"Yeah, they prowl around. You can sleep outside if you–"

"Forget it!" Clarke shot back with wide eye, before she turned to her back to get ready for bed.

A few moments later, they were cuddled up in their blankets and although the furs provided some protection against the cold ground, it was freezing. Lexa, fully prepared for such a cold night, was wearing long sweatpants and a hoodie, while Clarke had only brought a t–shirt and shorts since she assumed they'd be sleeping in a hotel, and she couldn't help but shiver slightly from the cold which didn't go unnoticed by the brunette.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you we were going to sleep outside. I didn't quite think this through." She said with a small blush and Clarke let out a soft laugh about how adorable Lexa actually was. She kept making sure Clarke would enjoy every second of her vacation, yet she apologized for Clarke's poor choice of clothing, which really wasn't her fault at all.

"It's fine, it's just really cold." Clarke said and turned to Lexa who, a moment later, smiled and held up her blanket for Clarke to slip under. _Keep your shit together Clarke, she's only offering you some warmth! No intentions!_ she tried to calm herself and after a second of hesitating, she accepted Lexa's offer and rolled over, snuggling up against the brunette, pushing her back into the other woman's warm body while her breathing slightly fastened, and she hoped that Lexa wouldn't notice.

When she gently wrapped her arms around Clarke, the blonde closed her eyes and held her breath. _Calm down, it's alright, you can breathe now. She'll definitely notice tha–_

"Clarke, you need to breathe." _Told ya!_

"Working on it." Clarke sighed and slowly started breathing again, as if to try whether it would actually work. When she heard, and more than that felt, Lexa's calm and steady breathing a few moments later, signifying that the woman had fallen asleep, Clarke finally relaxed into the other warm body behind her.

Clarke woke up with a long yawn and checked her watch, 5:42am. After a few moments of looking around, only slowly realizing where she was, she sighed and sat herself up, only to notice that Lexa was nowhere to be seen. If she hadn't been so tired, she probably would have panicked at the thought of being alone in the Jordanian desert with nothing but sand, snakes and scorpions around her. Just when that thought finally hit her how dangerous it might be, she heard their camels outside of the tent and got up.

It took a moment for her eyes to adapt to the half–darkness but then she saw Lexa, sitting against the small rock and let out a relieved sigh.

"Good morning" Lexa said without turning around but Clarke could hear the smile in her voice. "Tea?"

"Where on earth did you get tea?" Clarke wondered aloud and sat down next to the brunette who had set up a small fire and was brewing tea.

Lexa softly shook her head. "Do you think I would just let us head off to nowhere without any provisions?"

"Well... if you put it that way, I guess no." The blonde laughed, slightly embarrassed but it earned her Lexa's small smile which she had grown to love over the past days.

"How come you're awake at such an unholy time?" Clarke yawned and sleepily stretched her limbs, barely able to keep her eyes fully open.

"I didn't want to miss..." Lexa paused for a moment and then nodded towards the horizon just in time for the top of a red sun to appear, "this."

Clarke didn't know what stunned her more, the sight of one of the most beautiful sunrises she'd ever seen, or Lexa's perfect timing. They sat in silence until the sun was fully visible and then Lexa got up, took down the tent and prepared the camels for their way back.

They mostly rode in silence, Clarke didn't want to bother Lexa too much and she appreciated that the brunette thought similarly. Not that Clarke would ever consider anything that Lexa did or said as bothering, but she had a lot on her mind. Her thoughts were busy wandering around the fact that this might be the last day they would ever see each other, and if she was being honest, she was incredibly confused about her feelings, now more than ever.

She'd only known Lexa for a week but now she couldn't help but think that she felt much more than just friendship for the other woman. She had a hard time breathing whenever they were close, let alone during their kisses, and last night had definitely been a little too much for her to handle. She just wasn't sure if that was a bad thing, or why it even was too much in the first place. Of course, it was the closeness they had shared, falling asleep in each other's arms, but there was something else.

 _Should I have made the next step? Yeah. Definitely. Wait no! Oh God, Clarke! Get your shit together! Lexa was just being polite, don't think inappropriate thoughts about her or the situation! On the other hand though... she wanted a special first kiss with you and she's done everything possible to make you enjoy your holiday. She probably would have let it hap–Jesus! No! Focus! For now, just friends!_

But Clarke just couldn't convince herself. The _next step_ with Lexa, she was rather sure now, was something she would have wanted. Still wanted.

"What's on your mind?" Lexa's warm voice brought her back to reality and Clarke's head shot up. _Oh that timing. She can't actually read thoughts, can she?_

"Nothing special."

"You don't look like it's nothing special." The woman replied softly, her brows slightly furrowed in concern now.

"I... I mean we– this..." Clarke tried, awkwardly gesturing with her hands between her and Lexa, wildly enough so that she almost lost her balance and quickly grabbed the saddle horn again, but Lexa didn't laugh. She simply looked at her with her warm green eyes and waited patiently for her to continue.

Clarke sucked in a breath, held it for a moment and slowly released it again before she spoke. "I really don't wanna think about tonight, I mean the flight back. I don't want to think about not seeing you again, like ever, yet it's the only thing on my mind, and… I don't know. You know?"

Lexa nodded but said nothing for a moment, which didn't really comfort Clarke, at all. But then she spoke, and her calm voice almost sent tears to Clarke's eyes, almost. "You always meet twice, right?"

Clarke shook her head. "Lexa, you live in Australia and I live right on the other side of the planet."

"And yet we found each other here."


	12. Chapter 12

They arrived in Petra early in the afternoon and thanks to Lexa's persuasiveness, they had some extra time before the check–out to pack their bags and take a quick shower.

When she entered the lobby, Clarke felt her stomach turn slightly at the thought of the costs of the hotel room. Releasing a long breath with raised eyebrows, she reached for her bag when Lexa approached her.

"Ready?"

"Yeah let me just pay real quick and then we can–" Clarke started but was stopped by Lexa's hand on hers, signifying to keep the wallet in her bag.

"Let's say it's on the house."

"Lexa what the–"

"Language, Clarke." She smiled and cut Clarke off before she could object. "No seriously, put that away. You're not paying anything here. I invited you to be my guest and I can't let you pay for your room."

"But–"

"I insist!" The brunette interrupted her again, firmly yet politely, and her facial features softened into a warm one sided smile. "Please."

Clarke reluctantly nodded. There was obviously no way to convince Lexa, so she obeyed.

The drive to Amman took them a bit longer than planned but when they arrived four hours later, they fortunately still had an hour left until Clarke's boarding. They sat down in a small café at the airport, both having a coffee which Clarke, after a short discussion, got to pay. It was the least she could do.

They sat in silence for a moment, almost uncomfortable, both not really knowing what to say. When Lexa finally spoke, Clarke shot her a relieved smile. "How long's your flight?"

"Around fourteen hours. Let's hope I get to sleep for at least a few of them." Clarke tried to brighten up the situation but she didn't even convince herself. _That's some depressing shit right here…_ she thought. She'd never been good at saying Goodbye, she could barely handle leaving Raven and Octavia for a week. _How am I supposed to survive_ this _one?!_

She cleared her throat to get rid of the lump in her throat. "How long is your flight?"

"Twenty–two hours," Lexa paused to take a sip of her coffee, "well, that's the flight duration but I'm stopping in Dubai and I'll stay there for a night, so... around two days."

Clare nodded and lowered her gaze, her heart clenched even more when she voiced her thought. "You live like twice as far away from here than I do. That means you–"

"Clarke?"

"Hm?"

"Don't think about it." Lexa said calmly and curled the corners of her lips into a smile which had both, happiness and a hint of sadness in it. Her eyes were full of hope though which was the only reason Clarke's heart didn't break right away.

 _"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. This is the pre–boarding announcement for flight QR 401…"_

"That's mine." Clarke said and slowly got up. Lexa nodded, got up as well and took Clarke's suitcase.

"No! You don't have to– ugh. Lexaaa!" Clarke, who had stopped walking, exclaimed and had to do a little running to catch up with Lexa again.

"Claarrkee! Come on, you're gonna miss your flight!" The brunette laughed over her shoulder and carried the suitcase to the gate. When they arrived, Clarke was fighting the tears. _Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't– shit. Okay she'll definitely see that. Shit._ And Lexa noticed. She gently cupped the blonde's cheeks and wiped away a warm tear with her thumb.

"Hey, it's okay. Look at me," she said with a soft voice, "Clarke." With a sniff, the blonde looked up and at the sight of the beautiful brunette in front of her, trying her best to be strong for her, she broke down and let Lexa pull her into a tight embrace.

They stood like this for a long time, saying nothing. While Lexa gently rubbed her back, kissing her cheek every once in a while, heavy sobs erupted from Clarke's chest, shaking her whole body, but there was nothing she could do to stop the tears from streaming down her face.

 _"This is the final boarding call for flight QR 401. Please proceed to gate 3. The final checks are being completed and.._."

Lexa gently pulled away and tucked a loose strand behind the blonde's ear. "You have to go now."

Clarke nodded but couldn't move. She just kept looking into the other woman's eyes, vowing herself she'd never let go of her hand. The tears were about to come back, so she closed her eyes and a moment later, she felt soft lips on her own. She forgot everything around her, she couldn't hear the boarding announcement anymore. She just focused on the kiss, on Lexa's lips softly moving against hers.

It was over before it could deepen and with a last kiss on Clarke's cheek, the brunette pulled away but Clarke didn't open her eyes.

She sucked in a breath. "Can you... go? Before I open my eyes? I can't leave if I see you." Her voice was shaking. She waited for a long moment but when she realized that it had probably been a mistake to tell Lexa to go, that all she wanted was to see her one more time before they parted, she opened her eyes, but the other woman was gone. The sound of her thumping heart in her ears was almost deafening, and she drew blood from her lower lip when she bit down on it, hard, to stop herself from bursting into tears once again.

Slowly releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, she grabbed her suitcase. _Goodbye Lexa..._ Clarke sniffed once again, wiped way her tears with her palm and made her way to the plane.

From the distance, Lexa watched as the blonde opened her eyes and with sigh, took her suitcase before she disappeared behind the corner of the jet bridge. She smiled and turned around. _Goodbye, Clarke._


End file.
